Memories of Us

Hello blog!

So, it's been 6 months or so since you last heard from me. A lot has happened in that time. We survived another deployment (only 2 months this time thankfully), my baby turned one and started walking/running and has gone from being the tormented to being the tormentor, my two year old found his voice and now uses his words to charm and amaze me all the day long. Jamie marked 10 years of military service this past fall and also was promoted to Major.

We celebrated our 4th anniversary, which seems like a ridiculously short length of time considering all that has happened in our crazy life together. And the biggest thing to happen in the last 6 months . . .

We are 22 weeks along with baby #3.  She is perfect and healthy and a SHE!  I almost don't really believe that it's a girl.  I had resolved myself to the idea that I was destined to be a mother of sons and would truly and honestly have been happy with another sweet boy.  That being said, I bawled like a baby when we found out that there's a little girl growing in my tummy.  Jamie was gone and had asked me to have the ultrasound tech write down the sex and put it in an envelope so that we could find out together.  So, I called him in the parking lot afterwards (it took two ultrasounds, coincidentally - she had her legs crossed the first time).  I had felt from early on that it was a girl, but was trying not to hope because I didn't want to risk feeling the guilt of disappointment if it wasn't.  Truly, I was kind of protective and a little defensive of the idea that it could be a boy since EVERYONE else was so hopeful that it was a girl.  The ultrasound tech gave NOTHING away, despite knowing that I already have two little boys, which made me believe that it was likely another boy.  The tech had written it on a post-it which was stuck to the inside of the envelope so I had to reach in and peel it off to read it.  But I saw an "L."  And I knew.  And I almost couldn't get the words "It's a girl" out to Jamie before I burst into tears.  I shocked myself at my own reaction.  I guess I just didn't know or wasn't letting myself acknowledge how much I really wanted a daughter, a little girl of my own.  I literally couldn't talk for a few minutes I was crying so hard.  And then, when I had composed myself enough to drive, my mom called and I had to pull back into a parking space because I started crying all over again.  The first girl of the generation and I get to name her "Mary" and she's ours.  We are so blessed.  I almost don't know what to think!  I only know boys!  What will I do with a baby girl!  I don't know!  But it will be such a lovely adventure finding out.

Here's hoping I can get my act together enough to document our lives with the detail and humor I did once upon a time.  I love reading my old blogs, remembering the things I'd forgotten, rediscovering myself at a different stage in my life.  I regret that I've failed to maintain that kind of record keeping.  So I'm going to try.  I owe it to myself and to my kids to write this stuff down.  They are just THAT awesome and they will be grown before I know it.  There is so much to remember. 

One Stinking Bucket

Will woke up at 5 in the morning yesterday.  This was approximately 2 hours after I had finally crawled back into bed from Jake's mid-night feeding.  I was barely functional.  I don't really understand what my problem was though.  I survived on much less sleep when Will was a baby.  But I was SO TIRED yesterday.  Like, unreasonably tired.  Whenever this happens to me, I freak out that I'm pregnant.  Especially when I've been having headaches and extreme thirst, as those were my earliest symptoms when I was carrying the boys.  And so, I was kind of mulling the idea around, wondering if I should get a test.  But then I remembered that I had just finished my period.  But THEN I remembered that, according to that show I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant, you can have fake periods and still be pregnant.  So I was like, "Hmmmm."  But then I came to my senses and realized, it's not pregnancy.  It's Daylight Savings Time.  Still kicking my butt three days later.

So, Jamie was supposed to fly a local training run last night and slept in a bit yesterday morning in preparation.  I had just put Will down for his nap when he finally came downstairs, and so he took mercy on me, took Jake, and sent me up to bed until he had to leave at noon.  As is typical when I nap during the day, I had totally messed up, vivid, exhausting dreams.  The dream I woke up remembering was about Jamie and myself going on this long, arduous, dangerous, Indiana Jones type journey to get mulch.  Yes, mulch.  Like what you put on flowerbeds.  Though I'm not sure why we needed it in the dream.  It was IMPORTANT though.  Like, worth dying for.  Anyway, we got back from our journey and I realized that Jamie has only brought back ONE BUCKET of mulch.  And I was so mad.  Because all that work and fear and risk!  And all he got was one puny little bucket!  And in my dream, other people were actually comforting me because Jamie had been so dumb and only brought back ONE BUCKET.  So clearly, I was not being unreasonable.  And then Jamie sat down on the bed and woke me up because he needed to go.  I told him about the dream before he left for work, and we laughed because, you know, ha ha, what a weird dream.  But secretly, inside, I was harboring a little residual dream anger, you know?  Anyway, so the plane was broken, as the planes always are, and his flight was cancelled last night.  He got home around 11 and we crawled into bed.  But before I fell asleep, I turned to him and said, "You better bring back more than one freaking bucket of mulch this time."  And then I fell fast asleep with a smile on my lips and the sound of his laughter to warm my heart.  It's those little moments that make me so happy to be married to him.  Well, moments like that AND, you know, THESE little guys.

 

Quick Takes on a Monday

1.  I woke up yesterday morning as usual to the sound of Will wailing to get out of bed and demanding a bottle.  I glanced at my iPhone on the bedside table before trudging down the hall, you know. to see how much I didn't get to sleep in.  And I was shocked to see that it was nearly 8!  I was still super tired though, which confused me since getting to sleep until 8 is akin to sleeping until like, 10 in my life before children.  But whatever.  Yay for my good sleeper!  And then I walked into Will's room and saw his clock which read 6:45.  Somehow I had lost a whole hour of sleep on that short walk down the hall. Darn you, Daylight Savings Time.

2.  We tried to keep the boys on the pre-time change schedule of sleeping 7-7, which would mean down at 8 and up around 8.  Because, oh LORD wouldn't that be heavenly?  Sleeping until 8!  So we put them down at 8 last night, which should have felt normal to them.  But this morning?  They woke up at 7.  Damn it!  How do they know!?! 

3.  I went shopping both days this weekend during nap time.  We are  having family pictures taken next week and I would like to not be wearing maternity tops and saggy jeans in them.  So, I bought new jeans, in a size smaller (YAY!) which puts me back in my pre-pregnancy size clothes.  I am now only two pounds away from erasing pregnancy from the scale completely.  My body, on the other hand, will never be the same.  Changing clothes in the dressing rooms in front of the mirrors was not what I would necessarily call FUN,  but it really wasn't bad.  Because honestly, whenever I would see my belly and feel a tinge of unhappiness, I would think to myself, "This is the body of a woman who carried two huge babies to term.  It's nothing to be ashamed of."  Plus, I'm only 4 months post-partum and expect my body to bounce back a little bit more still.  Plus, I'm going to start doing crunches :-) 

4.  Jake is already working on cutting teeth.  I can see two little bumps in his bottom gums where his first teeth are working their way up.  I think it may be a few weeks before they actually cut through, but still . . .  Will didn't do this until he was 6 months!  I told myself that I was going to stop breast feeding when Jake got teeth and could bite me.  But now, I'm not so sure.  I'm not ready to quit.  It's so easy, and I enjoy it.  Now I'm thinking that maybe I'll wait until we decide to get pregnant again.  Or until he bites me.  That could be a game changer.  I don't enjoy it THAT much.

5.  We got a little climber/slide thing for the backyard since it's too hard for me to take the boys to the playground by myself.  Will still needs close supervision on jungle gym type things and I can't leave Jake unattended.  Anyway, it came in the this HUGE box.  So, Jamie made Will a playhouse.  It's a big hit. 

It can hold Will, plus me and Jamie (plus Charlie, but he's only allowed in the playroom when Daddy breaks the rules).  Actually, Will and Daddy hid out in the playhouse while I vacuumed yesterday.  You know, because vacuums are REALLY SCARY.  It was kind of adorable.

6.  Every day, when Jamie gets home from work, Will stands at the storm door and waves to him as he walks up to the house.  Then he says "Hi Daddy!" as he trys to avoid the hulking mass of DOG who also must express his overwhelming joy at Jamie's arrival.  Then, Will goes to his playroom and gets his two little blue chairs and takes them into the kitchen, patting one of the seats and telling Daddy to "Come on."  Then, Jamie and Will sit down and have a little snack.  

7.  Will has discovered a deep and abiding love of pears.