This is our third month of trying for a baby. That scares me a little. It happened so easily and so quickly with both of my other pregnancies. I know the doctors say not to worry unless you've been unsuccessful after a year of trying, but that fact gives me little comfort. Because that's just not how we worked in the past. And despite reassurances from my doctor that my miscarriage would have no impact on my ability to have more children, I feel uneasy. What if it changed me? What if I don't work the same way anymore? It's hard not to think that way after two months of disappointment. But it's also not unreasonable to think that my body just needed a little time to recover. I mean, 6 months ago I had a baby, 3 months after that got pregnant again, and then a month later had a miscarriage. That's a lot of hormone fluctuations and body changes in a short period of time. So I guess I just need to chill and cut my body some slack.
I've been cutting my body some slack in other ways as well. Though I've decided to put that to an end. I'd like to introduce you to my new best friend.
We got a treadmill. And thanks to an awesome year end sale, we got a brand new one! It's so nice to be able to put Will down for a nap, put on my running shoes, turn on the TV, and just go. We have a great jogging stroller, but it always seemed that when weather permitted, Will didn't. But now, I have no excuses. So, finally I can work in earnest on losing those last 10 lbs of baby weight. Or, if I manage to get pregnant this month, I will have an excellent tool to aid me in keeping my weight in check this time. Because last time, things got a little out of control. See this?
This was during what I think of as my "Pretty pregnant" phase. I was 23 weeks along and definitely showing, but not swollen at all. I was cute, if I do say so myself. That picture actually makes me WANT to be pregnant. If not for the other crappy phases, pregnancy would be great! Because this phase followed the "Actually pregnant but I just look fat" phase, and worse was yet to come. The lovely, glow-y part is just like a little break in the crappy. Unfortunately my "Pretty pregnant" phase didn't last long. Maybe only 2 months. After which point the definition in my feet, ankles, calves (and eventually my knees, egads!) slowly began disappearing and my face became increasingly puffy. I think of this as my "Uncomfortably pregnant" phase. See?
And people, I was only 35 weeks in that picture. I still had FIVE to go! I was SO over my appearance (and pregnancy in general) at that point that I stopped taking pictures. However, I did take one more at week 39, to document my hugeness. I refer to this as my 'GET OUT GET OUT GET OUT" phase of pregnancy.
Looking at that picture reminds me of why I'm not 100% psyched about getting pregnant again. But you know, it's what you have to do to get the baby, and I AM 100% psyched about that. Anyway, so as demonstrated in my pictures, I gained those recommended 35 and just kept on going from there. I estimate that by the end, (and I say "estimate" because it got too demoralizing to weigh myself at that point) I had gained around 60 lbs with Will. I'm not going to feel too bad about that because I retained water like the Hoover Dam. About half of that weight was gone within a week of delivering with zero effort on my part. And, from what I've heard, a lot of women gain more with their first babies than with the ones that follow. Whether that's from greater self restraint or because your body gets better at it, I don't know. All I know is that I am going to exercise THE WHOLE FREAKING TIME next time around. But seriously, I'm 6 months out and only 10 lbs away from my pre-pregnancy weight. I'm satisfied with that, especially considering all that's happened. They say 9 months on and 9 months off (unless you're a Hollywood celebrity and look normal 2 weeks later - in which case you are a freak and are hated by normal women everywhere). I'm on track to meet that goal. Unless I get pregnant. Either way, that treadmill is going to come in handy.