My baby will be 3 months old tomorrow. I can hardly even believe it. I had a slight panic attack last night, thinking about how my boys are growing up so quickly. I worry that I'm not savoring it enough, cherishing each moment, enjoying every stage of their sweet little lives. And even worse, I find myself wishing them bigger at times, thinking things like, "If Will were just a little older he would be a bit more self-sufficient and things would be easier" or "I wish Jake were already old enough to hold on when I carry him or maybe even sit up." I hate when I think things like that, especially with Jake. It's just that I know from raising Will how much more fun everything will get as he gains physical abilities. Plus, Jake is just huge. I didn't tell you guys this, but at his 2 month well-visit he weighed in at 15 lbs 11 oz. Like in the 99th percentile or something. Seriously. He's SO MUCH bigger than Will was as that stage. I guess this is to be expected since he was born nearly an entire pound heavier and an inch bigger. Plus, I've been primarily breast-feeding Jake (YAY!) which may have something to do with the extra chub. But by the time Will was that heavy, he wasn't "dead weight" anymore and could help me hold him. My arms get tired holding Jake for very long. So, it's tempting to wish him older. But I don't really. Not in my heart. The baby-ness fades away too quickly as it is.
Jake is awesome. I can't even express how completely I've fallen in love with my son. I'll be honest, I wasn't expecting the feelings I felt when I brought home my second little guy. I loved him, but he was a little stranger to me. He wasn't my child the way Will was. I didn't know him. And so, for a little while there, Will was my favorite. That's awful to say, but it was true. And I felt tremendous guilt about it. It is probably a pretty natural reaction though, so I don't condemn myself to the ranks of "bad mommy" for it. And don't get me wrong, I loved him right from the very start; before I even held him in my arms; before I even felt him moving inside me. I loved him the moment I saw two lines on the pregnancy test. From the moment he came into being, I loved Jake because he was mine. But it's not the same kind of love as what you feel for the child you've raised for 16 months. I loved Will not only because he was mine, but because he was Will. Now that Jake is 3 months old, we've had time to forge a bond and he's had time to develop his own little personality. Now I love Jake because he's Jake. And people, Jake is EASY to love. He rarely cries and is generous with his smiles. He squeals and jabbers in delight. He's just so even-tempered and sweet. My heart melts into a puddle just thinking about him.
I took pictures of Will in that little airplane onesie when he was 3 months old and so I decided to have a little fun and did a photo shoot of Jake for comparison sake.
Will
Jake
Will
Jake
So, despite the fact that Will was actually a little older than Jake for these pictures, Jake fills out that onesie a lot more. Especially when you consider that Will was in bulky cloth diapers and Jake is in a disposable. All in all, I'd say that Will favors Jamie while Jake favors me. They have the same blue eyes though, and the exact same nose. And they are both absolutely adorable. What a blessing to call them mine.
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