Memories of Us

Friday Quick Takes

1.  I don't like driving in New Jersey for two reasons.  First, the drivers here are mean and aggressive.  In the South, people are bad drivers because they are so busy trying to be courteous that they ignore right-of-way and all rules of the road.  That is annoying.  But up here, they are way too busy trying to get ahead to be NICE and would rather run you onto the shoulder of the road than move over into AN EMPTY LANE to let you on the turnpike.  And that is INFURIATING.  Second, some idiotic engineer decided that left turns are inefficient and thus made them illegal on most major roads.  So, you can literally SEE the store you want to go to, but if it's on the left side of the road, tough luck.  You have to find a place to do a U-turn using these stupid "jug handle" off-shoots that drop you out on a cross road.  Which means that instead of one left turn, I have to do a right turn and then TWO left turns (and wait for a traffic light!) before I can finally turn RIGHT into my destination.  It is so easy to get turned around!  Even my husband, who was a navigator on an airplane earlier in his career and has an amazing sense of direction, can get messed up with all the crazy turns and loops.  It's so dumb!

2.  We are all unpacked in our new home (now that we've been here a month and half!) except not a single thing is hung up on the wall.  Thus it does not feel like home.  I hate that.  But apparently not enough to do it myself.  Once upon a time, I would just grab a hammer and some nails and go to work.  But now I have a husband.  While it may be sexist and antiquated, I just feel like that's Jamie's job.  Especially when it comes to heavy stuff that requires drilling into studs.  Jamie really doesn't have that many jobs around here.  Essentially, if it requires a trip to a home improvement store, the use of a power tool, the lawn mower, or the grill, it is Jamie's job.  Of course, I am capable and assume those responsibilities when he's gone (except the grill, I don't even know how to turn it on) but when he's home, they are his domain.  He gets home in a few hours.  Thus I expect to have wall decor by the end of the weekend.

3.  I obviously had to switch to a new OB practice when we moved.  I miss my old doctor.  I miss the familiarity of my old practice.  I liked the way they did things there better than the way they do things here.  Perhaps that's because I KNEW what to expect there and because I had a wonderful experience with them throughout my first pregnancy and delivery.  I saw the same doctor for all my appointments throughout my pregnancy with Will.  While she didn't end up delivering me, I think I still prefered that way.  This practice has me seeing all five of the doctors.  While it means I won't have a stranger delivering me, it also means that I don't feel like any one of them is personally invested in me.  Plus, 4 of the doctors are men.  I'm not 100% comfortable with that yet.  I just really miss Charleston sometimes.

4.  I have 2.5 weeks until my due date.  I could be having this baby any day now!  I talked to Jamie about it the other day and it kind of surprised me when he said that he doesn't like to think about it.  That it scares him.  Not the baby part, the labor part.  Perhaps he just didn't tell me, but I don't believe he was as nervous when I was pregnant with Will.  I think watching me give birth to Will was an awakening for him.  It's ironic that having gone through it before and KNOWING what to expect makes me less scared this time but makes Jamie more scared.  I probably should have picked up on his feelings a while ago.  Looking back I remember one evening remarking to him about how big I was getting and he just staring at my belly and shaking his head.  When I asked him what he was thinking, instead of the sarcastic "chubby" remark I had expected, he said "It's just so dangerous."  I'll admit, growing a baby is dangerous work.  I've had those awful "what if" thoughts and wondered if my boys would be okay without me.  But the odds are in our favor and we've done everything possible to ensure that both baby and I are okay.  I don't want him to be scared.  It does make me feel very loved, however.

5.  Will loves trucks.  Actually, he loves all things with wheels on them, but especially trucks.  It really must be hardwired in the man-brain.  There is no other explanation for it.  I certainly didn't PUSH trucks on him.  I didn't even buy him a toy truck until we went to the neighbor's house when he was about 8 months old and he saw one and knew exactly how to play with it.  I was so surprised!  Anyway, we were staying at my parents' house for a majority of the time that Jamie was gone and Will has few toys there.  So, we went out to the toy store one day to kill some time.  We found a new truck.  He had SUCH fun pushing it up and down the store aisles and had a meltdown when I had to put him back in his stroller to pay and leave.  Anyway, this is how he looked all the way home. He held onto his new truck like his little life depended on it.  So adorable. 

6.  I've dug out all of Will's baby stuff and he is fascinated.  I wonder sometimes if he remembers things or if he's just enjoying them the way little boys do.  For instance, I caught him climbing in the infant car seat yesterday.

7.  We decided on a name.  Finally.

37 Weeks

Three more weeks?  Seriously?  A part of me says, "That's so soon!"  while another part of me says, "That's freakin' forever!  There's no more room in this belly for 1.5 more lbs of baby!"  Of course, I know there actually IS room (I mean, people have successfully carried twins and triplets and, you know, octuplets), however I just feel like both he and I are big ENOUGH at this point.  And technically, 37 weeks IS full term.  However, whenever he's ready, I'm ready.  He can take as much of those 3 weeks as he needs.  And both his daddy and I would prefer that baby boy wait until Jamie gets home.  I am just getting so excited though!

I'm ready to cradle him in my arms and marvel at the miracle of his existence and see if just maybe this one will look like me even a little.  I'm ready to watch those little legs kicking and squirming rather than feel them.  I'm ready to be able to see for myself that he's okay instead of wondering and hoping and waiting for my next appointment to know that he is.  I'm ready to get the whole scary painful labor part over with.  I'm ready to share him with other people, most particularly my husband.  AND I'm ready to have my normal body back.  These last few weeks are just so uncomfortable (to put it mildly).  I'd like to be able to touch my toes (or even see them) and roll over in bed without it being an ORDEAL.  I want to cuddle with Will like I used to, when he could actually sit on my lap or lay his head on my shoulder without having to straddle the belly.  I'd like to be able to have my husband come in for a hug without cringing away so he won't bump the belly (thereby squashing 7.5 lbs of baby into my organs).  I'm just ready for this pregnancy to be over so we can start our life as a family of 4.  

I finally bought myself some shoes.  I've been living in flip-flops for the most part up until now.  And while that was perfectly acceptable and reasonable foot attire in Charleston, SC, it is getting a little cold up here in New Jersey.  I'll be honest, I am not a shoe person.  Up until yesterday I owned one pair of tennis shoes and two pairs of $15 flip-flops.  At least those are the shoes that I wore regularly.  I obviously have some obligatory dress shoes, but they are rarely worn as dress-up occasions are something of an anomaly nowadays.  Anyway, I have been putting off shoe shopping because based on my experience last time, pregnant feet rarely fit in normal, stylish shoes and thus it is a waste to buy new shoes while pregnant.  However, I have experienced hardly any swelling this pregnancy.  And so I felt like maybe I could actually just go ahead and buy shoes.  So I did.  And I love them.  Plus I bought boots in preparation for winter!  And then?  When I woke up this morning?  My feet were swollen!  I can't even wear my new shoes!  Figures.

Sometimes when I'm holding Will or he's sitting on my knee, I am just blown away by how BIG he is.  It takes my breath away, remembering how small and helpless he started out.  I just look at him and marvel that he was once inside my belly.  It just seems so impossible that my little boy was ever as small as this little guy is who's waiting to come out right now, so tiny and new.  They grow up so fast.  So incredibly fast.

Friday Quick Takes

1.  My son LOVES to be naked.  We let him run around for a few minutes after his bath in the evenings wearing nothing but his birthday suit and it just might be the highlight of his day.  However, every time we do this I have to hold my breath and pray that he won't pee.  Usually my prayers go unanswered.  Fortunately the carpet in the townhouse we're renting is made of some kind of amazing impenetrable liquid-repelling material which allows me to quickly soak it up, leaving no trace of my my less than house-trained toddler behind.  The other night, however, Will decided to tell Charlie about his naked escapades and called out to the dog (who was downstairs) through the banister which overlooks the stairs and small landing.  I saw this happening and thought to myself, surely he won't pee because that is simply the worst place he could possibly do it and I can't be THAT unlucky.  Oh, but I am.  And he did.  Luckily (kind of?) I was there to quickly catch the unintentional flow and avert disaster.  Better cupped in my hands than sprayed all over the stairs.  Oh motherhood.

2.  I bought Will a Little Tikes Cozy Coup.    It is his best, most favorite, most awesome toy.  I KNEW that it would be a hit based on his love of steering wheels and his enjoyment of grocery carts with similar cars attached to the front.  I was holding off on buying it, however, intending to do so around the time our new little guy arrives in order to help Will have a happy association with this big change.  I just thought a positive distraction in the midst of the craziness would have been good.  However, we went to buy a toy chest at Toys R Us and I saw that it was on sale for 30% off and Will got in it and was so overjoyed and cried so miserably when I made him get out . . .  Thus, I bought it.  We got it home and I took it out of the box (FYI, it comes in a million! pieces!) and Will immediately found the steering wheel, figured out where it was supposed to go, stuck it in, and sat in the body of the car the entire time I tried to put it together (which made things extremely complicated).  In the end though, I was totally right and have no regrets about indulging my kid.  He loves it with a capital L.  Particularly turning the steering wheel with wild abandon and opening and closing the door.  It's fun to watch him enjoy it.  Buying him that car was just as much a present for myself as for him.  A happy child truly is the best gift ever.

3.  This baby gets the hiccups at LEAST once a day.  And he is big enough now that it literally shakes my whole body when he does.  It kind of drives me crazy.

4.  I wrote about it last time, but to reiterate, I am really worried about distinguishing false labor from the real thing this time around.  Mostly because I've been having a BUNCH of contractions.  In fact, I woke up the other night having them at 1 in the morning.  Like, big ouchie ones.  I honestly thought I was in labor for about an hour and was completely freaked out.  You see, Jamie is gone on a mission, I was alone, and I was loath to call my parents at that hour in case it was a false alarm.  So I kept track (they were regular but very far apart) for a while and eventually fell back asleep.  Which is to say, the contractions went away.  False alarm.  Thank goodness.  However, it did cement the fact that it really will be difficult to know if/when to actually call my parents to come and watch Will.  And it reminded me just how much labor hurts.  I hope Jamie is here next time that happens.  

5.  Apparently I'm having Non-Stress Tests (NST) at every weekly appointment from here on out.  I guess because he's a big baby?  Anyway, I was not aware that I would be getting one on Thursday morning and thus took my toddler with me to the appointment.  If you've never had one, a NST is where you lay there hooked up to monitors for 15 minutes or longer so they can track the baby's heart rate, movements, and any contractions.  So, you know, patience is not a toddler's strong suit.  It did not go over well.  Plus, all hooked up as I was, I couldn't get him snacks or pick up his sippy cup and car when he angrily threw them on the floor . . .  It sucked.  I won't be taking him on future appointments if at all possible.  

6.  I am really enjoying our new home.  We live in a great location, close to EVERYTHING we could want.  It's an adjustment living in a townhouse, what with the neighbors being so close and having no yard.  But our townhouse is very nice and we are settling in nicely.  I'm not thrilled about one of our neighbors.  I refer to her as the white trash neighbor.  In the month we've lived there, she has had a shouting match with her boyfriend in the freakin' driveway at least 3 times, all after 9 PM.  I'm psyching myself up to call the police and report a domestic dispute the next time it happens.  They seem very nice in the daylight hours so I feel kind of bad about it.  But I have limited tolerance for other people making their drama my problem.  Especially when my babies are trying to sleep.  And especially considering how often I will be there alone.  I don't need to feel scared of what's going on next door.

7.  Will has been napping better ever since I let him cry it out a few times.  However, despite rushing home from my appointment this Thursday to put him down, it just didn't happen.  Not sure why.  But he was determined not to nap.  See this face?  This is the face of NO.  Even though he was THIS tired.
So frustrating.  It's a good thing I love him so much.