Memories of Us

34 Weeks

SOOOO pregnant.  And yet I still have 6 weeks to go and I KNOW it only gets worse from here.  Until it gets instantly and miraculously and life-changingly better.  I'm getting pretty excited about that part! 

I think my belly is a little bit bigger at 34 weeks with this little guy than it was when Will was in there.  In fact, I don't remember outgrowing this shirt last time until much later.  However, after the excessive belly cleavage I was showing today, I will be retiring this shirt until Baby #3.  It makes me curious about how big the baby I'm growing really is.  LuckilyI get to find out on Friday.  At my doctor's appointment this past Thursday, the doctor told me that the tech who did my ultrasound at 31 weeks had written a very confusing report (something about a big head and small body - except his body was measuring 32 weeks when I was 31 weeks, so NOT SMALL, and the big head thing can be easily explained by simply looking at Will).  Just to be safe, she wants me to get ANOTHER ultrasound.  So, I'm going on Friday to an ultrasound tech who specializes in maternal/fetal medicine.  The doctor isn't really worried (and neither am I, since my 20 week ultrasound was perfectly normal and the only reason I even had one at 31 weeks is because my old practice couldn't manage to send the new practice my ultrasound results.  The big lesson in this: Moving while pregnant sucks.)  Anyway, so I get to find out how big he is on Friday.

It may just be wishful thinking, but I have a feeling I'm not going to make it to my due date.  I don't know why.  I've been having Braxton-Hicks contractions for a few weeks now.  Second babies often do come early.  But mostly it's because I'm completely unprepared for this baby to come early.  Which naturally means that he will.  His crib, while at least in OUR garage now and not my parents', is still in the box.  Still no mattress.  The future nursery is still a disarray of boxes and stuff.  No clothes have been purchased (I don't think Will's newborn onesies will be warm enough for October in the North considering that Will was born in June in the South).  And most importantly, he doesn't have a name.  I'm kind of getting freaked out about that.  We hadn't made the final decision on Will's name yet at this point either, but we'd at least narrowed it down to two options by now.  We do have a short list of favorites, but I read through it and none of them seem right.  I'm about ready to start all over again at the beginning of the alphabet.  It makes me sad.  And it stresses me out.

However, despite being unprepared, I'm eager for this pregnancy to end and to finally set eyes on this little guy.  Seriously, if he came a little early (like 37-ish weeks) I'd be kind of grateful.  I'm just dying to see if/how he'll be different from Will.  And I'll be honest, I'm tired of being pregnant.  I'm tired in general actually.  Chasing a toddler while 34 weeks pregnant is exhausting.  It just adds insult to injury when you throw in the cumbersome belly, the achy joints, the mid-night pee runs, and the heartburn (oh the heartburn!).  But really, when it comes down to what really matters, I'm truly blessed and happy.  I get to have another baby with my husband, the love of my life, and I get to spend my days mothering the cutest kid on the planet (So far.  He'll be sharing the title shortly.)  Life is good.  Thank God for Tums though.

14 Months

At what point do they STOP changing so dramatically from day to day?  I feel like I walk in each morning and find him taller and more boyish.  He is so independent now!  Gone are the days when I used to wander around the house holding his hand to steady him so he could walk like a big boy.  Now he runs where ever he wants to go and wouldn't dream of holding my hand.  He tolerates his stroller for no more than 10 minutes before whining to get out and walk.  Which means I spend the rest of our time out chasing after him rather than getting my errands done.  And being nearly 8 months pregnant makes chasing a toddler difficult and downright exhausting.  It has made shopping into something I pretty much abhor and put off until Daddy or my parents can watch him.  The only way I can get through the grocery at this point is if there is some kind of kiddie cart with a steering wheel.

God bless the person who came up with this idea.

Will seems to have gotten past his texture aversion issues, thank goodness.  He rarely gags and hasn't choked in a few weeks now.  We are enjoying exploring the culinary options that his new eating abilities have made available to us.  His overwhelming favorite at this point: speghetti and meatballs.  He is also a huge fan of all fruits.  Baby Goldfish rock his world.  We actually haven't found anything he won't eat.  He doesn't eat A LOT, portion wise, but what he does eat, he eats all at once.  Which is why I have to ration how much food I put in front of him.  I'm still adjusting to his newfound eating abilities and have to work pretty hard sometimes to keep from overreacting or panicking when he gets a mouth full of food.  I have a phobia about choking anyway and he honestly used to choke nearly every time I gave him anything but pureed mush for a long time.  I still cut his food up into pretty small pieces and have moments when I have to look away while he's eating to keep from getting overly anxious.  But he honestly hasn't choked in a while and I'm slowly gaining confidence in him.

Will still REALLY likes liquids.  He has never once turned down a bottle.  We transitioned very easily to whole milk soon after his first birthday.  Our pediatrician suggested that we try to wean him off the bottle before the new baby arrives, in order to prevent jealousy.  He said that taking the bottles away from Will when he can see the new baby drinking from bottles could be misinterpretted as the baby "stealing" his bottles.  We half-heartedly tried weaning him, but with all the upheaval going on with the move, we felt guilty taking the comfort of the bottle away from him right now.  Plus, the 10 minutes that Will lays in his Boppy pillow drinking a bottle are the only times (aside from nap) during the day when I get to sit down and relax (or go to the bathroom, do the laundry, etc).  Plus, it's not that he CAN'T drink from a sippy cup.  He LOVES drinking from his sippy cups provided you're giving him water.  He seems to think drinking milk from a sippy cup is disgusting, if his facial expressions are any indication.  I know that eventually we will have to deal with this issue, but I'm too tired to deal with it right now.  Plus, he's getting his molars and I can only handle so much crying and misery at one time.

I was talking to my friend Cristin the other day (who thankfully moved from Charleston right alongside of us and has a 14 month old little guy of her own) while our toddlers were playing and she said "I feel like I say that every age is my favorite as is comes along, but this one really is my favorite."  And I have to agree.  The emergence of personality, the engagement, the drive to communicate, the independence, the excitement at new things . . .  It's fun being the mother of a little boy.  He's daring and adventurous.  I spend most of my days trying to keep him from either hurting himself of breaking my house.  He's a handful!  Motherhood is challenging and frustrating in ways that it wasn't before.  He has moments of defiance and can be very opinionated.  I find myself baffled as to how to deal with him sometimes.  Is it too early for discipline?  Can he even understand the whole concept of consequences or rules yet?  I just don't know.  This motherhood gig doesn't get any easier.  The fun moments get more fun though.  And the sweet moments sweeter.  And the tender moments more meaningful.  Because they are two-sided now.  Every day that passes, Will becomes less of a subject and more of a participant in our relationship.  And that is why this age is the best so far. 

My little goofball.

33 Weeks

I can't even believe how quickly the time is going by.  I didn't realize how long it had been since I'd updated my blog last!  It blows my mind sometimes that there was a period of my life that I blogged every single day.  I miss that.  I sit down to blog now days and find myself bereft of the silly and fun nothings that I managed to discuss at length once upon a time.  I think motherhood stole my wit, and possibly a good portion of my intelligence.  How ironic that I have LESS time (and energy) now to do such things than I did when I worked full-time.  Though perhaps I just need to try harder.  I know other moms manage to do it.

So, I'm less than 2 months away from meeting my second little man!  I get more and more excited every day!  What will he look like?!  What will he BE like?!  He kicks me so hard and already seems so different from what I remember of Will at this point in my pregnancy with him.  It seems so surreal that I'll be living this miracle all over again so soon.  My body seems to be handling pregnancy much better this time around.  No swelling, no protein in my urine, limited weight gain (though I worry about that since I think the fact that I get so busy that keep forgetting to eat is probably playing a big role).  I have been suffering from some insane heartburn though.  INSANE.  The acute pain in my hips that I had been experiencing a few weeks ago seems to have lessened.  Though I anticipate its return as I get closer to labor.  I am going to think of that as a good thing, however, since the ultrasound I had two weeks ago revealed that I will be giving birth to another huge headed baby.  The ultrasound tech warned us that his big head would skew the size estimate, but at 31 weeks our baby boy measured in at 4 lbs 11 oz, or essentially the size of a typical baby at 35 weeks.  This scares me a little.  My doctor told me that I was measuring on the small side of average though.  So, whatever.  I guess we'll just have to see what happens.

We moved into our new home on the 31st of August (also the day we finally closed on the sale of our Charleston house!).  But despite finally having a place of our own, we have still been spending a significant amount of time staying at my parents' house.  Family is visiting and we're trying to make the most of it.  Thus, aside from my kitchen, den, and the playroom, our house is still mostly filled with boxes.  We've had to rent a storage unit since we downsized a bit, moving from a 4 bedroom home into a three bedroom townhouse (housing is more expensive up here, plus we're trying to live lean to make up some of what we lost in the sale of our Charleston house).  We also have had to purchase and order some new/smaller furniture to accommodate the new space.  Overall the house is coming together nicely though and I feel that we'll be really happy here.  I just hope I can get it all done to my satisfaction in time to welcome Baby Boy #2 home.  

I feel this weird combination of calmly ready but yet not at all prepared for this new baby to arrive.  The calm I think probably comes from the confidence that I've done this before and knowing from experience that you actually don't NEED a lot of stuff to take care of a new baby.  And most of that stuff we HAVE.  The panic comes in when I realize that, while we have the stuff, it is all still in boxes stacked upstairs.  The baby's nursery (which is the sitting room off the master bedroom which we will curtain off) is currently filled with boxes.  The baby's new crib which we purchased two weeks ago is still in the box and sitting in my parents' garage an hour's drive away.  We have yet to buy a mattress.  It's just a mess.  My mom assures me that Jamie and my dad would have that crib put together and the room cleared lickity split should little man arrive early, but that provides limited comfort.  I want to see the nursery and sit in it and make sure it is RIGHT before I bring our baby home to it.  I OBSESSED over Will's nursery and spent months planning and purchasing and putting it all together.  I don't want our second son to come home to something we've just thrown together.  He deserves better.

I realize Will's nap time would perhaps be better spent unpacking some of those offending boxes and clearing out the nursery rather than blogging, but honestly, all that bending over is very taxing at this point.  And unpacking can be loud.  Will is an absurdly light sleeper and I'm not about to risk waking him up.  So, I'm blogging.  I would include a picture of Will (who is such a little boy now, running and trying to talk, and getting into EVERYTHING) but I'm using my husband's Mac and I don't understand how to do pictures on it.  I added the pregnant picture to this post last week, when I started writing it (time is at a premium these days people!), using my mom's PC.  So, for my next post I'll fish out my own PC (which I kind of hate, what with its missing keys and slow start-up) so I can update you on my first born.  He's adorable.  So be excited.  See you then!