What a terrible job I'm doing documenting this pregnancy. Well, really, I'm doing a non-existent job documenting anything about this turbulent stretch of time in my life. Big things have happened in the three weeks since I've written last. Though it's not the big things I will forget. I love looking back at my blog from Will's pregnancy and it's the little things I enjoy reading about and remembering anew. I know I will regret having not done the same for Baby Boy #2, though I think I will be able to look back at this time and remember the chaos and the incredible amount of stress I was under, and will forgive myself.
My second pregnancy seems to be going well. I haven't had any protein in my urine yet, when it was already a problem by this point last time. I haven't had any swelling either, which is AWESOME. So, no big scary problems. All the other symptoms of pregnancy are worse this time though. The heartburn strikes at all hours of the day, regardless of what I've eaten or if I've even eaten at all. My digestive system isn't quite functioning in a pleasing fashion. The indignities of pregnancy seem to be especially heinous these days and I'm sincerely hoping this baby decides to shift elsewhere, preferably HIGHER UP in the near future. It hurts to move the bottom half of my body if I sit or lay for any length of time. But all those things are totally insignificant in comparison to the discomfort and worry that I was having last time as the symptoms of preeclampsia loomed heavy on the horizon. I rejoice that my wedding rings still fit easily. I hope I continue down this path of having a typical, normal pregnancy.
My pregnancy wardrobe consists almost entirely of Gap Maternity clothes. They are comfortable and attractive and it makes being pregnant SO much more enjoyable. And best of all, I think I spent less this time on clothes that I actually like than I ended up spending on a maternity wardrobe that I HATED last time from Motherhood Maternity.
My brother-in-law jokingly suggested that we name our baby "Axel" a few months ago. And somehow, the name stuck. So we have gotten into the very bad habit of calling the baby "Axel" and unfortunately, so has everyone else. I kind of worry that the nickname will persist beyond his birth, after he has an official, more dignified name. But I take comfort in knowing that at least he'll have a pretty bad ass nickname if that does end up being the case.
There are a lot of big things coming in the next few weeks including: Jamie's homecoming from Oklahoma (of sorts, considering we don't currently have a home), moving our belongings into the townhouse we've rented, maternity/family portraits (hopefully), and all the other unplanned adventures we'll encounter as we make a life for ourselves in the North. I'll try to do better in keeping this blog updated. However, just to fill everyone in, here's the quick list of big developments/events from the past 3 weeks:
- We hit a substantial and infuriating roadblock in the sale of our house and it came in the form of an incompetent appraiser who undervalued our house to the tune of 20,000 below our sale price by using erroneous data. This means Wells Fargo won't give our buyers a loan for the sale amount. We have spent the last two weeks trying to reason with Wells Fargo, who as it turns out, must venture to the deepest pits of hell to hire employees who are either a)stupid or b)unethical. We are, at this point, simply hoping the buyers can find a new lender. However, since they are currently living in our house, are in love with it, and are paying our mortgage until the closing happens, things are not as bad as they could be. I'm anxious to just be done with it though.
- I flew with Will (for the first time!!!) from Baltimore to Dallas so we could visit with Jamie's side of the family for 10 days and get to see Jamie on the weekends (he drove in from Altus, OK where he's currently located as he works through the upgrade to instructor pilot). As recommended by the FAA, I bought Will a seat and brought his car seat to use on the plane (and to use once we got there). Plus, in my current state I didn't think it would be very comfortable for either of us if he had to sit on my lap for the whole 3+ hours. I used this and am not sure how I would have managed without it. I barely managed as it was. We have a Britax Boulevard car seat for Will and while it is certified for use on airplanes, I discovered that this does not necessarily mean it works WELL on airplanes. Will had NO leg room since the car seat took up so much of the seat and unfortunately he was pushing on the seat in front of him at times. I apologized for this of course, however I didn't feel the slightest bit bad about it and let Will push to his heart's content when the jerk in front of him reclined his seat ANYWAY. People really are just unbelievable. We really only used the car seat on take-off, landing, and when the seat belt light was on. Otherwise he wanted to be standing on my lap (what little is left of it) looking around at our neighbors, flirting. He was an excellent traveler and didn't seem to be bothered at all by flying. Clearly his father's son. We'll be making that flight again in the beginning of December, though I'll have Will AND a newborn, and thus refuse to do it on my own next time.
- My sister-in-law Jill, who is getting married in early December (hence the travel plans) asked me to be her Matron of Honor. I was so surprised but am extremely moved that she would ask me to stand by her side on one of the most important days of her life. This means that I will have filled this role for BOTH of my sisters. This also means that I will have done so on both occasions approximately 4 weeks after giving birth. I think I may be doomed to look like a cow in every bridesmaid dress I ever wear. I honestly cannot even look at myself in my sister Sarah's wedding pictures without cringing over the whale-ishness of my postpartum body. It was very unfortunate. Also, Sarah's wedding happened during the height of Will's misery, before we discovered that I wasn't making enough milk, when he was nursing constantly and crying the rest of the time. I spent most of the reception hidden away with my dress half off and a baby attached to my boob. It sucked, literally and figuratively. However, I am looking at my next go round at being a postpartum matron of honor with wise eyes and optimism. My body is handling pregnancy differently this time, which I'm hoping means that I might avoid the swelling and extra weight gain I experienced last time. And more importantly, I don't anticipate having such a fussy/needy baby this time since I'll hopefully be better able to identify my baby's needs, and will be ready and willing to use formula should it be necessary. It will be better. It will be wonderful. I'm so excited!
- I turned 30. I feel like this should be a bigger deal than it is. Like I should be sad or something to leave my 20's behind. Like maybe I should freak out that I'm getting older. But I don't feel any of those things. I'm fine with 30. I feel like I'm right where I should be for 30. Blessed and happy, living the life I'd hoped for. Married to a man I love who adores me in return. Mother to a joyful, beautiful little boy and anxiously awaiting the arrival of our second such miracle. So I'm fine with 30. I anticipate a wonderful new decade on the horizon and look forward to what my 30's will bring. My husband sent me flowers for my birthday with a card that said "Thirty, flirty, and thriving." And, you know, I am. So, happy birthday to me!
