Memories of Us

Still Pregnant

I've had a stretch mark free pregnancy.  Until now.  My skin reached max capacity this past week and I am now the proud owner of some lovely stretch marks.  I can only see them in the mirror, as they are on the underside of my belly (an area which is mostly a mystery to me anymore as I can't see PAST the belly at this point).  And they are small and relatively few in number.  Let's hope I deliver before they GROW and multiply!  According to the books, baby is gaining 0.5 lbs a week now, which is A LOT!  I don't know how much more baby I can hold!  (My doctor is predicting that baby will be bigger than 7 lbs but smaller than 9 lbs)  Oh well.  Let's just consider them a badge of honor.  Hopefully the knowledge that I carried our baby full term and gave it all the time it needed to prepare for the outside world will give me comfort when I see those stretch marks in the mirror (that is, AFTER I'm brave enough to even look at myself post-baby).  But let's be honest, unless I feel inclined to wear a bikini (which won't be happening for a while!) Jamie's the only one who will ever see them.  And he loves me.  And he contributed to my GETTING the stretch marks.  So, he can deal.  I'm not going to feel bad about it.  I'm MORE worried about the current state of my legs/butt.  I'm kind of praying that a significant amount of my new found bulk down there is due to water retention.  But I doubt it.  I have had to stay off my feet quite a lot toward the end of this pregnancy, per doctor's orders.  And now that the South Carolina weather has officially reached HELL status (seriously, 98 degrees yesterday with humidity somewhere in the "sauna" range) out door activities like walking are a thing of the past.  Thus the sight of my legs and butt at this point elicits great sadness in my heart.  Good thing I can't really see them anymore.  Big belly, remember.  I'm just so ready to reclaim my body, people.  Come out already, little baby!

My entire family is so excited about this baby!  I get multiple daily calls from my mother checking to see if I've made any progress.  "How's my grandbaby today?" she asks.  So, you see how it is now.  You see where her priorities lie.  Mm-hmm.  And ALL our calls end the same way anymore.  Her - "Call me as soon as you know anything!"  Me - "You'll be the first person I call!" (I'm pretty sure it's understood that I mean AFTER I call Jamie.  Or the Command Post.  Or whoever I have to call to reach Jamie.  You get the idea.)  I'm so nervous that she won't be able to get here in time, even if I do call her at the first signs of labor.  For that reason, I'm almost hoping I DO have to be induced on Sunday.  That way my parents could just drive down next weekend all safe and leisurely-like instead of making frantic last minute travel plans.  I'm almost hoping though.  ALMOST.  Not really.  Because I don't want to be pregnant for another whole week (or push out a 0.5 lb bigger baby).

My dog is so funny.  He likes to hang out up in Jamie's office, which is the only upstairs room in our house (it's a FROG - Finished Room Over Garage).  There's a big window up there which allows him to run surveillance.  And he is VERY serious about surveillance.  It is his solemn duty to announce any living creature that comes within 100 yds of our house.  I really hope this baby has become accustomed to hearing Charlie bark and will be able to sleep through it, because there is just no avoiding it.  The house MUST be protected.  He will not be diverted or deterred from guarding his people.  Charlie also loves stuffed animals.  He has about 15.  You can always tell at which window he's been staging his surveillance all day because there will be a stockpile of stuffed animals there.   I just always wonder, when I see his little pile, how he decides which animals he wants to carry around and have with him up there.  Because, don't be fooled, it is intentional.  Just a minute ago, he ran downstairs, grabbed his toy duck, and ran back upstairs.  He didn't come over to say "Hi" to me and he didn't even look at another toy.  He was on a mission to get that duck.  Specifically.  I always wonder what he's thinking!  I wish he could talk to me sometimes.  It makes me so happy knowing that Charlie will be our kids' first dog.   He's just so sweet and fun.  I don't know how we got so lucky.

39 Weeks

This is me at 39 weeks pregnant.  I. AM. HUGE.  In fact, this is a cleaned up version of how I look.  This shirt is pulled down as far as possible, and these pants are pulled up over the bottom part of the belly.  This arrangement is only ever temporary.  This is what I actually look like at this point:

Classy, I know.  But I'm not about to go out and buy more maternity clothes at this point.  I mean, I'm in the final stretch!  Who cares if I flash some belly!  People can just get over it.  The final stretch, at is turns out, looks like it might be longer than I'd like.  And by longer, I mean, not RIGHT THIS MINUTE.  I was so optimistic after my last appointment!  But alas, I had not progressed very much farther at my appointment today.  My doctor even said, "I think I'll probably be seeing you next week."  What a downer.  My appointment is next Thursday, at which point I will be two days overdue.  She scheduled me for an ultrasound and Non-Stress Test at that time too, to check on the size and condition of my baby.  And, if I have not managed to birth this child of my own free will by next Sunday, I will be induced (5 days past due).  So, at least I have a light at the end of the tunnel.  But let's hope we don't get to that point.  Come out baby!  COME OUT!

It is frustrating.  I work all day, walking and bouncing on my ball, working baby down into my pelvis.  And then, the minute I get into bed, baby wiggles back up into my ribs.  I literally can't sit or breathe  normally because I have a little baby butt jammed into my ribcage.  The little stinker.  This baby is going to come out and ALREADY be in trouble with Mommy.

It occurred to me that I never showed everyone the nursery with all the furniture in place and my tree finished.  So, here it is!
 

Also, here are the super adorable going home outfits I bought the other day.

Babies R' Us sends out a 10% off coupon to couples to finish getting the things on their registry that no one else has bought about 2 weeks before the due date.  I went and used our coupon this weekend.  There were honestly very few things remaining on our registry that our generous family and friends hadn't already purchased.  One thing left on there though was a stuffed monkey that Jamie had sneakily scanned when I wasn't looking.  I couldn't resist surprising him with it.  After all, it was one of the only things he put on there by himself.  And he was tickled.  But today, I discovered a use for the monkey!  We practiced using the prefold cloth diapers!  The Bum Genius One Size cloth diapers won't really fit well until baby is at least 8 lbs, so we got some cheap prefolds and diaper covers to last us until baby is big enough.  Folding them takes practice, which is where Mr. Monkey came in handy.  While baby won't have such long legs, or a tail, Mr. Monkey was a useful substitute. 

First Day of Maternity Leave

So far today I've 1) Slept in until 7:30 2) Watched 3 episodes of "Bringing Home Baby" on TLC 3) Gone shopping for baby clothes 4) Ate a peanut butter sandwich and 5) Watched the Young and the Restless.  It is now 1:30 and I'm bored.  Jamie is up in his office doing work, Charlie is curled up under my feet, and life is just chill.  I wonder how long I'll be able to stand it.  Don't get me wrong, I'm glad not to be at work.  I feel well rested and my feet aren't swollen (at least I don't think they are, I don't really remember what my normal feet look like).  It certainly heightens the anticipation of childbirth though.  I'm literally sitting around here WAITING to go into labor.

I bought two outfits today.  One for a baby boy and one for a baby girl.  They are "going home" outfits!  So we're prepared either way!  It was so fun picking them out, imagining the different scenarios :-)  Everything about this baby is a mystery to us right now!  I'm glad we didn't find out what we're having.  We've spent the last 9 months waiting and wondering, unable to develop any preconceived notions of life after baby.  Not even able to refer to baby by name.  That has been really hard at times.  I completely understand why most people chose not to wait though.  The temptation to KNOW your child in any way you can as soon as you can is nearly irresistible.  Knowing your baby's gender is a huge part of knowing your child and dramatically shapes the way you envision the future. 

A few weeks back, our pastor was talking about being a father to his daughter, about loving the things she loves, about being her biggest fan, about valuing and respecting her as a person.  He was talking about how important a role a father plays in the life of his daughter.  She will forever look to the way her father treated her, loved her, as an example of how God loves her and as an example of how ALL men should treat her.  I know this to be true.  I can't even imagine how hard it is for a woman who didn't have a father, or who had a bad one, to ever understand the unconditional love of God and to trust that He is always good in His actions.  Knowing God is easy for me.  I just imagine a really big and powerful version of my dad.  So much of what I think and expect of men is wrapped up in my father.  And I give him full credit for the choices I've made when it comes to the men I've allowed into my life, most particularly my husband.  Because I know what a good man looks like.  I know that a good man treats a woman tenderly and with respect.   And I honestly don't tolerate being treated otherwise.  Because I know what I'm worth and what I deserve.  My father taught me that.  And my husband reaffirms it daily.  I can't wait to see the kind of father Jamie will be.  The impact of a father on his children, particularly his daughters, cannot be underestimated.  I wish society would acknowledge that.  I think most of our societal woes can be directly linked to the demise of the nuclear family.  But I digress . . .  After our pastor finished speaking, he asked all the fathers of daughters to stand so that we could pray for them, that they would do God justice and be the men their daughters need them to be.  Jamie didn't know whether to stand up or not.  He told me later that it was the first and only time he's regretted waiting to find out the sex of our child.  I'm sure it wasn't because he missed out on the prayer.  I think it was about wanting to know, to prepare for that all important role, to get ready to be Daddy to our little girl.  Honestly, he's got nothing to worry about.  I wouldn't have fallen in love with him if he weren't already up to the job.