Memories of Us

Nesting

Twenty-six days.  That's how long until my due date.  Twenty-six days!  Holy crap!  But I'm not sure if the whole "nesting" thing has really set in yet.  I'm stressing about the state of my house right now, but I'm rather certain it has more to do with all the people coming over this weekend for the baby shower than with the impending arrival of our bundle of joy.  However, whatever the reason, I guess I do end up at the same place - with a clean, baby-ready house.  This, by the way, is not the condition of my house at this moment.  My house is neither clean nor baby-ready.  It's a good thing I've had my feet up at work all day, because I'm going to be a busy girl tonight. 

It's kind of ironic.  Most couples probably start saving and rationing in preparation for a new baby.  Not us.  Jamie and I have been kind of splurging these last two months, and not on things for the baby.  As we prepare to jump off of the two-income wagon and welcome our own little money-pit into the world, we made the conscious decision to go ahead with all the big purchases we've been putting off while we still have disposable income and before our financial priorities get turned upside down.  For instance, Jamie has FOREVER wanted a computer that he could dedicate solely to trading/investing, with three monitors to track the market movements of multiple stocks simultaneously.  He has literally been dreaming about it for YEARS.  We have visited the computer monitor aisle in Costco every weekend for the last 12 months.  But I was always dragging my feet, thinking it wasn't the right time or that he didn't NEED it because he's gone so often and isn't actively trading yet.  But this is his intended second career after we retire from the Air Force, and so, it truly is an investment in our future.  And darn you Costco, you had such a good deal going on monitors.  So I gave in.  And now, Jamie's office is complete and professional.  And he LOVES it.  And I don't regret spending that money in the slightest. 

Our second giant purchase is a new dining room set.  I will admit, this was MY doing entirely.  Ever since we started dating seriously, I have systematically gone through our house and purged it of Jamie's pre-Mary furniture, rugs, and general decor (or lack thereof).  Do all women do this?  Probably.  Don't think I'm shallow and controlling people, it needed to be done.  Most men are just clueless when it comes to decorating and making a house into a home.  I think that's probably why married men tend to live longer.  They love the feeling of home but have no idea how to create it.  It takes a wife to do that.  Anyway, the last thing to go has been the dining room set.  I HATED the dining room set.  He purchased it when he was stationed in Germany, which means it LOOKED German (think quaint and frilly) and was wired for European voltage (read: didn't work in the USA).  "Quaint" is not really my style.  I am not a frilly girl.  The wood was a light stain while every other piece of furniture in our house is either cherry or espresso.  The cushions were BLUE while my house is decorated in earth tones.  The China hutch had such fancy glass doors that you couldn't even SEE our wedding china through the beveling.  I HATED everything about it.  I hated it so much, I didn't even attempt to make that room look nice.  I ignored it, or at least tried to.  I had nightmares about those damn blue cushions.  They were seriously cramping my style, people.  But I lived with it and just told myself, "Someday, I will have a classy dining room.  Someday my whole house will match."  Well, that someday came on Monday.  Halleluia!  We bought a new dining room set.  I am so happy I could explode!  I will actually be able to DECORATE that room.  I can have a color scheme!  I can pick out paint and curtains and it will look beautiful and put together!  The new table and chairs come tomorrow, and the china hutch will arrive in early July.  This was a huge splurge.  But I knew I would never be happy until that room was fixed.  And I knew that there would always be something else child-related to spend the money on once our little one arrives.  So we went for it.  And it helped that there was an awesome interest-free 24-month financing deal going on.  It doesn't get much more painless than that.  So, I guess I am nesting in a way.  It's just, you know, not a baby nest.  It's a whole house nest.

Praise the Lord, the changer has shipped.  If only it would arrive tomorrow, before the baby shower, so that the nursery will be relatively complete.  I'm not holding out hope, but just maybe!  Also, the onesies I ordered last week arrived yesterday.  They are so adorable and small it just makes me melt inside.  Jamie was with me when I opened the box.  He picked one up, a big smile spread across his face and he said, "I'm ready."  I can't wait to see him hold our first child.  It makes me tear up to even think about it.   I'm ready too, Baby.  You stay in there as long as you need to, but hurry if you can.

For Real?

Can we really be this close to having a baby?  I'm 6 days away from being full-term (37 weeks)!  That is just unbelievable, people!  This time next month I'll be holding my baby in my arms, watching its little arms and legs flail around rather than feeling them wriggle around all smooshed in my belly.  It just blows my mind!  I wonder what its little face will look like!  I can't wait to breathe in that baby smell and run my fingers over that soft baby skin.  It just seems so magical and surreal that there is an actual BABY in my BODY right now, waiting to come out.  When did that happen?  When did it actually become a BABY and not just an idea?  I imagine giving birth and the awe of finally having the baby before our eyes, and in my head it's like the baby just appears out of nowhere.  It's so hard to comprehend that this little person has been right here with me the whole time, just hiding where I couldn't see.  Grown out of nothingness by the grace of God.  Fearfully and wonderfully made.  Intellectually I know there's a baby in there, but it just doesn't seem real most of the time.  Is that stupid?  Does it make sense? Am I the only one who ever felt this way? 

I'm not sure how to classify my doctor's appointment today.  I think it might have been more bad than good, but not for the normal reasons.  No protein again - woohoo!  My blood pressure was also down back to my normal range.  Which, considering the size of my ankles, is puzzling.  Anyway, the VERY FIRST THING my doctor says as she walks in the room, before even looking at me, just based on my weight as written in the chart, is "GOSH, you are SO swollen."  Yeah, so on second thought, I guess I should have chunked this one in the "bad appointment" category right from the start.  I've gained about 1o pounds in the last three weeks.  You know, I just did that math right now for you people.  I haven't really thought of it in bigger terms like that before.  It doesn't sound so bad when it's happening incrementally, but dude, that's a lot.  I'm a little freaked.  And I'm sure the vast majority of that is water retention (as evidenced by the swelling that is starting to creep up my calves).  She essentially told me to stay off my feet.  To put them up at least 2 ADDITIONAL hours each day, to cut salt out of my diet entirely, and to drink water like it's going out of style.  She asked if I was still working.  I told her yes, but at a desk job.  She said, "Okay, well, keep your feet up at work."  And she asked if Jamie was home.  He is.  She said, "Well, you get off your feet the minute you get home from work.  He can take care of things around the house."  (I told Jamie this, and he requested a doctor's note as proof.  Haha, funny husband.)  She warned, even though my blood pressure is good now, if I continue to swell like this, it will definitely rise.  And she said this ominously.  Eeek!  Good thing I'm so close to full term.  How come I always feel guilty when I have a bad appointment?  Is there honestly something I'm doing wrong?  Like I have any control over the fact that my body is NOT handling these last few weeks of pregnancy well. 

Also, I now have the full on pregnancy waddle.  However, the waddle is not what I always thought it was.  I always assumed that pregnant people waddle because their bellies are so huge and heavy and awkward.  I did not realize that it's because walking is painful due to loose joints and aching muscles.  I now think that "waddle" is an inappropriate term for this form of movement.  I think "full body limp" is probably more accurate.  Just saying. 

Thank goodness there are only a few weeks left.  I'll take a picture tonight for 36 weeks and post it in the next day or so.  Almost done!  Rejoice dear friends!  Soon, instead of hearing me complain about being pregnant, you'll get to hear me whine about breastfeeding, crying, and losing the baby weight.  However there will be baby pictures.  Lots and lots of baby pictures.

Still Here

Hi Everyone!  I'm still here, at work, and pregnant.  Last week was a tough one (as evidenced by my completely depressing and indulgently whiny posts).  I was so sure by Friday that this pregnancy had gotten the best of me that I transferred all my personal work files onto the public drive before going to my doctor's appointment.  Just in case I wasn't coming back.  I was THAT concerned that I'd be put on bedrest, or worse (better?) sent to labor and delivery.  I was just swollen and sore and all around miserable.  But surprise, surprise, Friday was one of the best appointments I've had!  Apparently all that water I drank all week did the trick.  No protein.  Thank you internet!  I can't remember if I blogged about it, but after she found protein AGAIN two weeks ago and almost made me do the giant orange jug-o-pee test again, I went online in pursuit of knowledge.  I found some random comment on some random pregnancy forum where some random girl had the same problem and her doctor told her that dehydration can sometimes cause protein spillage in the urine.  So I thought, "It's worth a try!"  And so, I drank water like it was my JOB last week.  And on Friday!  No PROTEIN!  My doctor was really happy.  However, ironically, I did have a jump in blood pressure last week.  Can you believe it?  The one thing she was worried about BECAUSE of the protein didn't happen until the protein disappeared.  She didn't seem overly worried though and just said we'd see what my readings are this week (tomorrow).  I'm usually in the low 110's/70's and on Friday I was 132/80.  Oh well.  Otherwise I'm measuring just where I should be and things are progressing normally.  It was just what I needed to hear.  Thank goodness.  I was due for a good appointment.  I'm not holding my breath for a repeat performance though.  I've had maybe 4 totally good appointments this whole pregnancy out of like, 20.  Those aren't good odds.  But maybe!  Bring on the water.

My recliner came in!  I'm so excited!  I was expecting it to be at least another month!  My changer, however, did not come.  And neither did a shipping confirmation.  And that $50 refund, nowhere to be seen.  I'm going to let my anger foment a little longer before I call them this morning (maybe another hour) so it's good and bubbling over.  That way maybe I'll be mad enough to actually GET SOMETHING DONE before their nice and understanding customer service people can pacify me.  I'm going to be unreasonable today.  And with all these hormones pulsing through my body, that isn't a far leap for me.

I totally overdid it this weekend.  My amazing mom and sister are driving down to throw me a baby shower this weekend!  I'm so excited!  My sister hasn't seen me big pregnant yet and I just know she's going to be so blown away.  They've had a good time planning the shower too, even though it's been kind of difficult from so far away.  It will be at my house.  This means that I feel the need to have everything perfect.  I spent the weekend planting flowers.  This is not the best activity for a pregnant person.  Bending over?  Not easy.  Squatting?  No.  Getting back up from either of those positions?  Ouchie.  And it was hot.  And I was swollen before even starting.  And I bought a million flowers.  Seriously, it took me 4 hours to plant 12 little flower clusters.  I would plant 3, give up, and go inside to bother my husband as he worked on one of the MILLION chores I gave him.  Repeat.  The only reason the flowers are in the ground is that my wonderful husband finally took pity on me and came outside to help.  He dug the holes, I plopped in the flowers.  The whole darn thing was finished in 30 minutes.  If I hadn't been so relieved, I would have been demoralized.  I was beat!  And hot.  And swollen.  So then I went and soaked myself in a cool bubble bath for half an hour.  I guess this is what I get for planning a June baby.  Our next kid is going to be born in December.